What is Impostor Syndrome anyway? Impostor syndrome is when you feel you don't deserve your accomplishments, which can make you feel you are a fraud. I'm here to tell you that those thoughts are a dirty fucking liar, and you're worthy. Even former First Lady Michelle Obama said that she feels that she has Impostor Syndrome. And we all know that Auntie Chelle is goals. So if she feels self-doubt from time to time, know that your doubt is normal and that you can work through it. But if you are rolling your eyes at me and saying “heffa, you don’t know my life,” well then here are 5 reasons why you should listen to that self-doubt and throw in the towel.
5. You Enjoy Quitting.
Maybe you enjoy starting something and stopping mid-stride. Or maybe, you’ve always let fear win and feel miserable for quitting. It’s OKAY to be afraid. You have to push through those feelings and keep on going. While your feelings are valid, I want you to remember something a good friend of mine always says. He says that feelings AREN’T FACTS. What that means is that your feelings are an interpretation of the situation. Your perception. Your emotions drive feelings, and feelings change like the wind. Notice when you’re happy. Not at peace, not joyful but just, happy. You’ll see that it’s probably dependent on your happenings. Am I right? See, emotions based on an interpretation of what’s going on around you. So you have to keep your eyes on the prize, look in the mirror and say fuck your feelings and keep on trucking. Cause no one REALLY enjoys quitting.
4. You Want to Prove All the Naysayers Right.
All those people who said you wouldn’t be able to do this, yeah, you just LIVE to prove them right… RIGHT? Heeeeellllll naw! While proving them wrong may not be your driving force, a little pride at times isn’t a bad thing. For me, their voice turns to my voice, and I am the one I have to prove wrong. But also, I get just a smidge… okay, I get a hell of a lot of pleasure proving people wrong. Or at least ones who may be in my family or extended “friends.” People will doubt you. They will talk about you. You might as well give them something to talk about, in a way where they can’t say anything but “damn, they made it after all.”
3. You’d Rather Help Someone Else Achieve Their Own Goals.
Do you work for a company where you see the owner often? Or have you seen a video of the owner expressing their reason for starting their company? Have you seen how passionate they are and how thankful they are that you’re helping them achieve their dream? Well hot damn, are they thanking you on all those late nights that you’re putting in while they’re reaping the benefits? Surely that’s not what you want to do for the rest of your life if you have big dreams of your own right? RIGHT! We work to fund our own dreams, not to sit back and watch others enjoy theirs on our behalf. Bust your ass on late nights for your own dream, not someone else’s… Well you know, unless the impostor syndrome monster takes over. And we already came to terms with it being a liar. ;)
2. You’re Lazy.
I mean, after working all those late hours at your 9-5, you just wanna chill right? Hell, you just wanna sit in bed, eat junk and binge The Good Life. HA! Wait… That actually IS what I want to do. lol But after I’ve busted my ass for my own goals. YOU ARE NOT LAZY! Well, maybe you are… But you’re human. Check your current actions, know your strengths and weaknesses, then readjust where needed. I totally believe that you can prioritize the things that matter most. You can find that balance, but don’t let the fear of being lazy, talk you out of your dreams.
1. You Really ARE an Impostor.
Maybe you really are an impostor. Maybe all that hard work you put in means nothing. Maybe the long hours, sleepless nights, hopeful abandon, and sweat equity were all for nothing. Maybe that voice of doubt and fear is right, and you are a failure. LISTEN. THAT. IS. A. LIE. We’ve already established those thoughts are a liar. Remember, feelings are not facts. You FEEL like an impostor, but your hard work says otherwise. So do your achievements. Regardless of how big or small they are. If you are struggling with feeling inadequacy, you should acknowledge those feelings, then work to change your point of view. And if that is not enough, seeking therapy IS OKAY. Sis, bro… it’s okay. You are enough, you are worthy and you are not an impostor.